Let's Talk About Loss

LOSS

Loss involves taking something important away from a person. Loss of a job, divorce, death, and changes in identity all involve loss.

Grief is the reaction to the loss itself. Feelings such as shock, anger, guilt, helplessness, and depression are common reactions. Grief is also a process involving many changes. Someone going through a loss may move through their grief by thinking about their loss, dealing with their pain, learning to live with the loss, and honoring what has been lost.

Have you experienced a loss?
 
Things to know…
 
o Grief is a very private and individual process. Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own time – but you do not have to do it alone.
o There are no right or wrong emotions.
o Crying and releasing emotions is our body’s way of dealing with loss, it is a natural part of the grieving process. Other people may experience nightmares and flashbacks. This is also normal.
o Grief can be physically exhausting: one hour of grieving can be comparable to several hours of hard physical labor.
o When someone experiences a loss in their life, additional losses often occur as a result. These additional losses can impact us in a way that is equally devastating. For example, if you beak up with your boyfriend or girlfriend you might also lose a piece of your identity, and mutual friendships to name a few. 
Coping with Loss…
 
o Exhaustion due to stress makes it much easier for you to become sick. Pay attention to physical needs of food, sleep and exercise.
o Feeling of being weighed down (“lead in my boots”) is common. Do not stop yourself from crying; it is healing and can help lift the load.
o Pamper yourself. Sleep in, read, watch late television, buy yourself a gift.
o Seek the support of someone who has been through something similar.
o Respect your own need for private space and time.
o Avoid making major life decisions within the first year of the loss unless absolutely necessary.
o  Try to build a good sense of humor; you may be surprised and appreciative of the amusing thoughts that come to mind.
 
You do not have to go through this alone. If you need someone to talk to in order to process, chat on crisis chat during operating hours www.youthone.com/crisischat.php, or call the 24-hour Distress Line at (780) 482-HELP (4357).
 
Are you supporting someone who is grieving?
 
Ways to help…
 
o Talk to them. A grieving person needs the opportunity to talk about the loss.
o  Recognize that loss can involve much more than death: break-up’s, mental health diagnoses, etc all involve loss.
o If the loss is a death, do not be afraid to mention the loved one’s name and to ask about the death (e.g., how the death occurred, when it occurred).
o Offer the person support, but also give them the time to think and grieve.
o Do not assume that someone is over their grief because they do not show outward signs. Ask them how they are feeling about the loss.
o When supporting someone grieving a death, recognize that anniversaries associated with the loss are common triggers.
o Ask how they coped or how they are coping now.
 
If you are concerned they need further support, encourage them to come onto Crisis Chat during operating www.youthone.com/crisischat.php, or to call the 24-hour Distress Line at 482-HELP (4357).